Short Stories
The Idiotllectual

Short Stories

Experiences, wishes, hopes, absurdities; all welcome in my stories.



It was a single event that occurred on Thursday, I was in Uxbridge, a short way from the head office of Coca Cola, I had been staying with my sister at Brunel University and was on my way to the tube station [...]


Evening in Soho. Part 1.


II wish to start this tale by way of a disclaimer and an apology, I’m well aware that the setting and subject matter here may be slightly unorthodox to some of you, but let me assure you it is merely by habit that my friend and I happened to be [...]



I’m in my flat, it’s a fucking mess; there’s some crushed rich tea biscuits and a leaking car battery on the floor, excrement on the ceiling, I’ve got a sausage roll in my left hand, my right hand hurts [...]


An Evening in Soho. Part 2.


This guy is still fully committed to selling us this...thing; sensing our proclivity for humour he went with it. ‘You know, it’s just like a real woman...except she won’t tell you to go and do the washing up afterwards.’ [...]

Illegal in Leicester Square


The darkness sloshed up and down in our heads as the night sky rose before us over the newly refurbished Leicester Square - all the metal struts and luminous men had been cleared away leaving a great expanse that hadn't been glimpsed in quite some time. [...]


The obnoxious Stain Upon A Person


The displeasure with which I perceived my misfortune was absolutely vast, I felt thoroughly queasy; such a socially abhorrent thing to happen to a fellow such as myself. [...]

Worst Sex Ever


It was a Monday, I had to get up early, this was the first bad thing to happen, early is not a habitual occurrence for me. I'm a night owl, a wanderer of the night (not in a pervy/stalkery type way), but this was morning, stark, saggy eyed rigor mortis [...]



The Rejection (indifference)


Last summer I asked a girl out in South Kensington tube station, the girl in question and I had both been in a French class at the French Institute, the 7 – 9pm beginners’ class [...]



The Idiotllectual © 2013. All Rights Reserved